MUSIC: Best of 2013, The Winners and Losers

2013 in music was an unpredictable one. It’s a year where one of the biggest records came out to with promotion at all in secret while two anonymous dudes in masks had what seemed to be the most hyped album and well promoted record of all time. It was a weird year in the music world and as the whole industry shifts the only thing that seems consistent is the fact that 2014 will probably be stranger. Here’s what we thought of the last year.

2013 cupcake cake

Biggest Comeback.Pharrell Williams.

It’s not as if Pharrell wasn’t behind the scenes doing great things for the past few years working on soundtracks and his current reign as the coolest person on the planet. His struggle falsetto ruled the charts in 2013 and as music becomes more and more programmed he gave a dose of warmth we all needed.

Biggest Hissy fit, aka the You Ain’t Got The Answers Award.Wale.

Why? For threatening the poor lads over at Complex over not being included in their top 50 albums of the year. In between threatening them with violence, he complained about how could Juicy J’s latest record made the list and his didn’t. After Three 6 Mafa imploded (post Oscar win!) Juicy J worked his little aged ass off into becoming a humble pop-rap star by working the new rapper equivalent of the chitlin play circuit. Wale just doesn’t seem to have that same work ethic.

The One Hit Wonder, the Stacy Q “Two Of Hearts” award.Big Sean.

Yeah, I know he’s got more then a few hit songs under his belt. But if we all band together we can stop this nefarious B.I.G. His biggest record this year was a song that wasn’t on his album and the hype was about someone else’s verse on the track (Kendrick Lamar on “Control”). Even on his best song from his album Miley Cyrus took his shine.

Best Example of Rapper Extravagance, aka the “What They Do” award.Migos “Versace”.

People may hate but there’s a reason why Drake hopped on the remix when he was promoting his new album. The beat is great, and the chorus/rhyme syncopation is so catchy they found a way to flip the word “Versace” differently 36 times in the first verse. It’s pure 2am drunken club ignorance at it’s finest. So if they want to have a goddamn leopard in a video, let them.

Producer of the Year.Mike Will Made it.

Mike will easily won this in 2012(Bandz Will Make Her Dance/Pour It up, 773 Love) and rolled the momentum into an equally strong 2013. Besides dropping hood bangers for the likes of Gucci Mane and Jay-Z he found time to produce most of Miley Cyrus’s album and is a big reason we tolerated her discovering twerking in 2013.

Best Television Performance.Kanye West “New Slaves” On Saturday Night Live.

It was the shows angriest hip-hop moment the show has had since Public Enemy over 20 years ago. It was the biggest glimpse at Yeezus outside of a few artsy street installations and considering he’s been writing maximalist pop songs for him to be so gritty was a shock. It’s moments like these that give him a pass on his other shenanigans.

Video of the Year. – Toro Y Moi “Rose Quartz”.

This song makes me want to lie in the arms of someone I love while we watch the sunset and play with each others hair and talk about making babies. The video makes me want to sit in the sunroom of my white house with a picket fence with those same babies in the future while we paint pretty things and try not to get anything on the carpet before she politely scolds us before giving us a warm hug and cookies

Oldest Sounding Rapper Unfortunately Still Rapping.Eminem

In Magna Carta Holy Grail there were glimpses of the old Jay-Z (Tom Ford, Beach), but even he admit’s it was a mid tier effort.Luckily for him, Eminem dropped Marshal Matthers LP 2 and stole the crown from him, it’s an atrocious listen from beginning to end. I mean, he’s making raps for videogames.

Puff Daddy’s Capitalist of the Year Award.Nicki Minaj.

If you’ve ever bought a Minaj record, played a track of hers on youtube, colored your hair or worn pink lipstick, you are part of the problem.