RELATIONSHIPS: Dating in a Hip Hop Society. Is this video TRUE?


“I need a boss. I need a man like Rick Ross.

The video that’s been floating around the net about black dating in a hip hop society had me cracking up but it left me wondering, is this the dating game in 2010? Since I’ve been married for 10 years I’m sure the dating scene has changed in the past decade, but how much?

[youtube uehF-S5UB_g nolink]

I remember being a freshmen at Morgan State in ’92 and being in McKeldin our student union center and this cat walks in with a crazy haircut, looking like he had a butt on his head. So cats are joking on dude, chicks are laughing at money and then all of a sudden a chick says “oh my God, is that Omar Epps from Juice!?!?” And once chicks realized it was Omar Epps all those disses turned to “oh my God he’s SO fine!” And I’m stuck in the moment like “what just happened?” And that’s when I realized women are attracted to the spotlight, not the person. When chicks thought Omar Epps was a regular dude, he was wack. Then they find out he’s a movie star, now he’s fiiiiine. I remember one chick being over my spot in ’94 and we were watching videos and this chick was trying to tell me that Craig Mack wasn’t ugly…he just had bad acne! See, for men if a woman is fine, she’s fine. It doesn’t matter is she’s on stage, on the movie screen or works at Dunkin Donuts! But for some women, a man being fine is based on his status. Like Chris Rock said, money will turn a bald spot into a part!

I watched a documentary a minute ago about groupies called “Kiss and Tell – The Hollywood Jumpoff”. They of course dealt with the groupie of all groupies Superhead but the chick who really caught my attention was Pamela Des Barres who considers herself the “Groupie Grandmother” and the author of the book “I’m With the Band”. She explains how there’s always been groupies ever since a man stepped on the stage. And she brags how she was one of the earliest groupies in the Rock ‘n’ Roll world in the mid 60’s. She even goes on to explain how in the 50’s groupies were originally called “Bobby Soxers”, and then they came to be known as “Pop 40 F-ckers” and then around ’66 the word “groupie” poped up. Now, why am I talking about the history of groupies? Because from the video and what I hear from men on the dating scene is that’s how a lot of black women are seen as. And again, groupies have been around since the beginning of time but it seems over the past 40 years they’ve multiplied . And they’ve turned into our sister, daughters, nieces and in some cases even our mothers! The chick in the video has what many people would consider a good man but she wants a baller and a boss. And as she rattles off all the rappers and ball players she wants to be with she sure sounds like a groupie to me.

My man Kel Spencer asked a good question once–How does a woman who could really care less about sports, explain using every penny in her bank account to book a flight, book a hotel, shop for mad outfits, etc. all to go to the Superbowl and the NBA All Star Game? And why doesn’t that chick wanna go to the Final Four? My bad…college athletes don’t have any loot.

So why does the chick in the video want Rick Ross, Trey Songz, Drake, Lil Wayne and Jay Z? Why does the average chick in the streets want Rick Ross, Trey Songz, Drake, Lil Wayne and Jay Z? Why couldn’t the chicks at Morgan find out the cat was Omar Epps and he STILL be wack? Is it because as parents we’re not teaching our daughters what they should be looking for in a man and what a good man looks like? Have we let MTV and BET raise our children so much that whoever comes across the screen is who our sons want to be and who our daughters want to be with? So many questions, yet so few answers. I guess it’s just like Omar said on the Wire “it’s all in the game.”