The funny thing about relationships is that men are taught one thing about women, yet we are expected to act a completely different way. The clash of new-school feminism and traditional values has created a lost generation of kids who don’t know how to think or act when it comes to the opposite sex. Thankfully, there is my homie Ricky Raw, who’s excellent blog The Rawness has some of the best writings in regards to the sexes currently on the internet today.
After a short absence, Ricky is back with his new series, 31 Days of Game. Day 1 dropped last week and it focuses on staring at women and eye contact. Read below:
When initially establishing eye contact with other people, especially an attractive woman, always make them break eye contact first.
This doesn’t sound very significant or challenging at first, but give it a try. Do it for guys and girls, make observations about how different types of people react. One thing you’ll notice if you’re a guy is how unnatural it feels to lock eye contact with a strange woman you don’t know for extended period of time in silence. It’s more intimidating than just approaching her and talking, because talking at least breaks tension while just locking eyes increases it. Civilized men are so trained to be afraid of looking like sexists and creeps that we often have the instinct to look away first once we’re caught looking.
What will surprise you is how comfortable and unapologetic women are about locking eyes with you, however. It amazed me how much more free women feel to stare at whoever they choose. There will be times where you will be locking eyes at a woman’s eyes and it seems like she’ll never stop gazing. You’ll start feeling uncomfortable and the seconds will start feeling like minutes, but this is an important part of getting over a certain type of social anxiety.
I believe most women do such eye contact as a test, and once you break eye contact first you’ve dropped a notch instantly in their eyes and they’ve lost a little bit of respect for you. Also practice with men. If either a man or woman takes issue with you for looking, just have an excuse ready about how you recognized them and thought you knew them from someplace but wasn’t sure
Some key things you’ll learn: How hard it is for the average straight man to gaze at a woman for a prolonged period when she’s gazing back. I think this is because men on average are conditioned to be embarrassed about their sexuality (so are women but for different reasons and in different ways) and try to conceal it as often as possible unless they know for sure it’s 100% safe to do so, like in a group of friends or with a woman they have no doubt is already sexually interested. And if the man is middle class and educated he’ll especially have hangups about harassment, objectification and seeming misogynistic.
It’s an interesting read, and it’s filled with some tips to try. Ladies, chime and and let us know what you think.