I usually don’t give romance advice, mainly because my friends would never retrun the favor, but I’m finding one of my friend’s situations a lil’ bit interesting:
I have a friend who’s having a relationship issue. According to him, he’s been going out with this girl for about 4 months or so, but the relationship is falling apart over music of all things. See, this dude thinks that Dilla is the next coming of Tupac, while his girlfriend thinks that Rhianna is the next coming of Beyonce. You see where I’m goin’ with this?
There is obviously an age and cultural difference here–she screams and cries when she has to go to his backpacker “hip-hop lives” events, and he pits a fit when she manages to drag him out to something that the kids call the “scream” tour (Is that with Ne-yo and Omarion? I’m too old to know and too lazy to Google it.) Not only that, but she thinks that A Tribe Called Quest is “corny,” that Dilla is “wack” and that Big Daddy Kane is “old folks music.” Add to that the fact that he caught her singing along to Lil’ Mama’s “Lip Gloss” a little too enthusiastically the other day.
It’s not easy being a backpacker these days. Just ask Lupe Fiasco. But seriously if you’re a Black dude who dosen’t listen to what’s ont the radio, you’re already a minority of a minority. As someone who has music tastes that range from Mystikal to MF Doom to KT Tunstall, I feel for the brother. Since I’m not the most attractive guy on the lot, I really don’t get to pick and choose which girls I get to go out with. So basically, 90% of the girls I end up going out with don’t particularly share my choice of Roy Ayers over Jim Jones, and let’s not get started on the last time I tried to explain Podcasting to girls I go out with.
However for this kid, my advice is to first check her iPod first. Women–especially women of color–are always frontin’ with their music choices. I once knew a girl who would swear up and down that she couldn’t stand “underground” music, but this girls iPod has the most extensive collection of Nina Simone albums that I’ve ever seen. So sometimes you can’t judge a book by its cover. There has got to be at least something y’all have in common, and if there is, you have to make plans around that.
And the most effective relationships are about compromise anyway (word to Dr. Phil!) so at the least you must understand where each other is coming from and get that off the bat first. Just because she dosen’t dig Mos Def shouldn’t be a deal breaker if you worked out your boundaries. And you gotta get this under control now, because little disagreements like this will most certainly blow up into full fledged Iraq war style arguments in the future.
And if all else fails, dump her and get yourself an Afropunk chick.
What do y’all think? Have you ever dumped somebody cause you didn’t like their choice in music? SOUND OFF!