Culture

Tell Us What You Really Think: Top Ten Worst T-Shirts (For Women)

by Lady Glock

T805_stack.gif

Everybody has seen them. Everybody has read them. The majority of people probably own them. They are the hot co-tour of the “hipster” chic. That's right, I'm talking about the catchphrase t-shirt. You know the one that has the funny saying on it so that people will automatically eye your chest when they pass by you.

There are some funny ones, clever ones, ones that reference an era long gone (i.e. the 80's). Personally, I wear “ironic” tees a lot. One of my favorite fashion statements. But there are those that are just a bit too much information. Ladies, I am directing this post to you. Like the “whale tail” (the thong underwear that is hanging so far out of your jeans, it would make a plumber blush), there are certain things we just don't need to see. Celebs like Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera (both of whom deserve a napkin point) feel the need to share their inner most thoughts on their chests. Now, I am not one to judge someone based on what they wear. But if you are basically telling the rest of the world things about yourself that we may or may not have wanted to know, you are also allowing us to judge a certain aspect of your personality. So without further adieu, the top ten t-shirts that make you look like a bitch, whore, etc:

1) “3 Holes…No Waiting”: I actually saw a girl wearing a t-shirt that said this. If homegirl can fill three holes at one time, then more power to here. But honestly, how many people really need to know that? I asked a friend of mine what kind of girl he thought would wear a t-shirt like that. His response: “A fuckin whore.” I can't say that I disagree.

2) “If At First You Don't Succeed, Try Buying Me Some Diamonds”: Ok, Bryon Crawford posted about Abercrombie's shirts. And I'm posting about this one in particular. If you buy this shirt…you are a bitch. Period.You probably wear sunglasses indoors don't you?

3) “Everyone Loves A/An…”: I'm not gonna front. I own the “Everyone Loves a Jewish Girl” tee. But to be honest, I stopped wearing it when I heard the original had dollar signs and handbags on it. Still, having worked at the store where they sold these shirts, I can tell you some of the fucked up things people would ask and some of the stupid policies we had in regard to these shirts. For example, there was never an “Everyone Loves a Black Girl” tee. After some complaints, I asked my manager about this. He made some mumbled excuse that “Black is such a general term…cause there is African American, Caribbean, African, etc.” I shit you not, that was the reason. But the term “Latina” (which was blazoned across every “Everyone Loves a Latina” tee) is not a general term. “Latin” is, after all, a country. But they must have realized their faux pas because this season they have this t-shirt.

4) “Don't Take Me Home Till I'm Drunk”: Sadly I do not have an image of this t-shirt. But it does exist. Why don't they have a t-shirt that says “Rape Me…I'm Female!”?

5) “G is for Gangsta” or “C is for Crunk”: If you wear a shirt that says this, you are niether.

6) “If I Followed You Home, Would You Keep Me?”: Again, I apologize for not having a pic of this tee. I saw this t-shirt being worn by a girl who could not have been more than 11 years old. The only thing I could think about was how some pedophile is looking at her and thinking “GIGGIDY GIGGIDY!”

7) “I Put The Fun in Funeral”: Now this is a unisex t-shirt. Regardless, if you wear this…you are not goth…you are a moron.

8) “Washington…Way Less Murders Than Washington DC”: Cute. I'd like to see someone wearing that in DC. I'd roundhouse kick em in the head.

9) “I'm His Because He Appreciates Perfection”: If your love handles can be seen rolling out from underneath this t-shirt, you are not perfection. You're his because he has low standards.

10) “My Boyfriend Is Out of Town”: See, does that mean the girl (or guy) wearing this shirt wants to take someone home, because they don't want to sleep alone? And would you really want to go home with someone who advertises that they cheat on their shirt? I mean, if she's taking you home, who knows who else she's taking home. And besides, the women wearing these shirts never EVER look like the model in the picture.

So there you have it. The top ten shirts that can make you look like a bitch, a whore and a moron. At least in my (and a few other people's) opinion.

Readers, if you want to be really creative, leave in the comments the worst shirts you've ever seen.


  • Marc Grossberg

    T-shirt that reads “It's not Rape if she can blink twice for yes”.

  • Katie

    These are great tips for people who seem to lack brains.

    Some of the shirts that I’ve seen for guys, say the following things:

    “Less is more.” (This, of course, meaning that girls are better without clothes on. A picture of a naked girl is below the slogan)

    “I enjoy slow dancing” (Again, on this shirt, below the slogan is a girl who is pole dancing; wearing almost nothing)

    “All You can eat buffet, Just down stairs!” (This has an arrow pointing down towards his…you know. A smiley face is at the bottom of the arrow. This shirt is purposely long, so it hangs right over you know what.)

    Here are some girl shirts:

    “Squeeze me” (This is written below the boobs, and then on each boob is a picture of a sliced orange)

    “Your partridge my pair tree” (This from the song “and a partridge in a pair tree”)

    “This shirt would look great on your floor” (Oh dear lord, you might as well have pants that say “Rip offs”)

  • james

    You name it, I’ve seen it. From “Quit staring at my boobs… (touch them!) to “I love every bone in my body, particularly yours…”
    Used to have one said “Guys with big (shall we say ‘johnsons’) don’t need fancy cars. Got rid of it the day I bought a Lincoln…
    (Yes, I have a bodyshop-for cars-hence the email address…)